• Hassanatu

Do You Believe in Soulmates?

According to Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. in Psychology Today, “the term soulmate implies a special affinity, understanding, or powerful bond that exists between one person and another.” A soulmate isn’t someone who completes you. No, a soulmate is someone who inspires you to complete yourself.

I was on Instagram the other day, scrolling through my feeds when I came across a quote that said, “a soulmate is the one person whose love is powerful enough to motivate you to meet your soul, to do the emotional work of self-discovery, of awakening." — Kenny Loggins. Call me corny, but I found that quote to be so profound. As a hopeless romantic, reading that quote, I thought, ‘wow, will I ever meet my soulmate, or have I already met him?’.

While discussing this week’s topic with my sisters, I realized I had never really thought about what I am looking for in a life partner. I am finally at the stage where the discussions surrounding me always concern marriage. I have a degree, and in a Fulani-African household, the expectation is that I should be married at this age. However, the thought of getting serious with someone already scares me. So before thinking about settling down, I had several questions about soulmates. Do I believe in soul mates? What is a soulmate? Who is my soulmate? Have I found him? What are the differences between destiny and fate? With my sisters’ help and the internet, I came up with proper answers to my questions.

I’ll start first by answering the title of today’s topic. Do I believe in soul mates? Absolutely! Like many people, a soulmate is believed to be the one you are predestined to be with forever, your perfect fit. For me, my definition of soul mates dates back to when I was twelve years old, watching a Yash Chopra film called “Dil To Pagal Hai.” In that movie, I vividly remembered what and who soulmates are. A famous line from the film states, “somewhere, someone has been made for me... and someday I will meet him.” That pretty much sums up my determination to meet the right person that Allah has willed for me one day.

On the question about what is a soulmate? I can write essays on this particular question because I believe that a soul mate is a person you do “soul work” with, someone who opens your eyes and life to new things and introduces a new side of you. I believe a real soulmate is an individual who shows you everything that's holding you back and without hesitation brings your "mess" to your attention and helps you improve and evolve for the better. Soul work includes tackling challenges and everything else head-on. It ensures that the elephant in the room is not overlooked nor having items swept under the rug. A soulmate is someone who does not judge you for your flaws. A soulmate is someone who sees your rough edges, and the pieces of you weathered by love and life. They understand the battles you are fighting and still choose to stand by your side. A soulmate is someone who always encourages you to heal in your own time and in your way; always enables you to keep going and challenges you to challenge yourself. A soulmate is someone who sees the potential that’s within and lets you understand what you can do. They help open your eyes and come to terms with the fact that you are powerful beyond measure. They see you in ways you've never seen yourself before and are not afraid to inspire you until you see it too.

As for who is my soulmate? I have no idea. Have I met my soulmate? Perhaps. Do I know it’s him? Nope. In regards to destiny and fate, it’s evident that the universe has an order. No matter how hard you try, you can’t get away from it. However, while outside forces set fate, destiny involves choices.

In an article, courtesy to June Silny, who gave signs to look for when you’ve found your soulmate, I couldn’t help but wonder if some of you, my loyal readers, have experienced any of the signs. Whether you’ve met your soulmate or not, have you been close to finding someone who fits these criteria?

Here’s a link to June Silny’s article on 18 signs to know you’ve found your soulmate: https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/18-signs-youve-found-your-soulmate.html

In conclusion, I firmly believe everyone has someone in the universe who is their special someone. All you have to do is find them! However, luck or chance does not have anything to do with true love’s fate, but destiny does. You cannot find your life’s love by chance; however, if you are supposed to be together, you will find them. According to those who have met their soulmates, when you meet your soulmate, your emotions get jumbled up inside because they are unlike anyone you’ve encountered in the world. You know that this is the individual for you; from the depths of your heart, it just simply feels right. You know immediately that, as long as this individual is by your side, you can conquer whatever obstacle life brings your way. A soulmate is someone who will never vilify you for changing, for doing the things you have always held yourself back from doing. A soulmate knows that you are building yourself into someone you are proud of, which is beautiful to them and is what they have always hoped for you. As previously stated, no, a soulmate does not complete you; they inspire you to complete yourself. At this age, I have faith that my soulmate is a mile away, and when the time is right, we will meet and get to know each other. In the meantime, I am focused on bettering myself. If I have met the person by fate, I believe our two souls will always find our way back to each other if we are meant to be together.


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